The People Who Remind Us What Matters

By Nathan

Most of us spend a good portion of our lives working.

We build businesses, finish projects, solve problems, make plans, worry about tomorrow, and occasionally convince ourselves that whatever is sitting on our desk at that particular moment is the most important thing in the world.

Every once in a while, though, someone reminds us otherwise.

Our friend Jeff is one of those people.

Jeff is a United States Army veteran, a longtime friend, and simply a good man. He's also facing something today that none of us would wish on anybody: stage-four cancer.

There is nothing particularly inspirational about cancer itself. It is difficult, exhausting, and unfair. What can be inspiring is the way a person chooses to live while dealing with it.

That's the part of Jeff's story worth telling.

Jeff has been through chemotherapy and radiation. There have been days when he's been sick, exhausted, and hurting. Eventually, he reached a point where he decided he had endured enough treatment and wanted to concentrate on the quality of the life in front of him.

That's Jeff's decision and Jeff's story.

But here's what those of us who know him get to see.

We see the same guy.

Jeff still jokes. He still gives people a hard time. He still enjoys getting out for lunch. He still talks about everyday things because, despite everything happening around him, he is still living an everyday life.

Sometimes Lunch Is Just Lunch

A couple of Fridays a month, Glen and I try to take Jeff to lunch.

There isn't anything ceremonial about it. We're not gathering to contemplate the meaning of life over Mexican food. We're three friends going to lunch.

We talk. We laugh. We probably solve a few of the world's problems without anybody asking us to. And for a little while, cancer doesn't get to own the room.

I've known Jeff through work and through life. Over the years, those distinctions have become considerably less important. Somewhere along the way, a working relationship simply became friendship.

And friendship has a funny way of changing the ledger.

You stop keeping track of who helped whom, who did what, or whose turn it is. When somebody you care about needs a hand, you give them one. When they need company, you show up. And when it's Friday and everybody's hungry, you go get lunch.

Strength Doesn't Always Look the Way We Imagine

Jeff has reminded me of something else.

Strength doesn't always look the way we imagine it does.

Sometimes strength is getting up when you're not sure you can.

Sometimes it's laughing when there isn't much to laugh about.

Sometimes it's accepting help when you'd rather do everything yourself.

And sometimes it's simply deciding that today is still yours, regardless of what tomorrow may bring.

Jeff served his country proudly in the United States Army. He's worked hard throughout his life. He's built things, fixed things, and earned the friendship and respect of the people who've had the privilege of knowing him.

Cancer is part of his life today.

It is not his identity.

He's still Jeff.

He's our friend.

And we're still going to lunch.

Take Care of Your People

Maybe that's the point.

Businesses will come and go. Projects will eventually be finished. Websites will change. Trucks will wear out. Most of the things that seem terribly important on a Tuesday afternoon eventually become things we can barely remember.

People are different.

The relationships we build along the way have a way of lasting long after we've forgotten what brought us together in the first place.

Sometimes it takes watching someone face something incredibly difficult to remind the rest of us of something remarkably simple:

Take care of your people.

Make the phone call.

Go to lunch.

Laugh when you can.

And don't wait for life to become complicated before recognizing the people who make it better.

Jeff, this one's for you brother!